Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Eustress vs. Distress

 
Photo:dreamstime

Stress is not always a bad thing. Stress is simply the body's response to changes that create taxing demands. Dr. Lazarus (building on Dr. Selye's work) suggested that there is a difference between eustress, which is a term for positive stress, and distress, which refers to negative stress.

Eustress, or positive stress, has the following characteristics:
  • Motivates, focuses energy.
  • Is short-term.
  • Is perceived as within our coping abilities.
  • Feels exciting.
  • Improves performance.
 In contrast, Distress, or negative stress, has the following characteristics:  
  • Causes anxiety or concern. 
  • Can be short- or long-term. 
  • Is perceived as outside of our coping abilities. 
  • Feels unpleasant. 
  • Decreases performance. 
  • Can lead to mental and physical problems.

Examples of Eustress and Distress

It is somewhat hard to categorize stressors into objective lists of those that cause eustress and those that cause distress, because different people will have different reactions to particular situations. However, by generalizing, we can compile a list of stressors that are typically experienced as negative or positive to most people, most of the time.
Examples of negative personal stressors include:
  • The death of a spouse.
  • Filing for divorce.
  • Losing contact with loved ones.
  • The death of a family member.
  • Hospitalization (oneself or a family member).
  • Injury or illness (oneself or a family member).
  • Being abused or neglected.
  • Separation from a spouse or committed relationship partner.
  • Conflict in interpersonal relationships.
  • Bankruptcy/Money Problems.
  • Unemployment.
  • Sleep problems.
  • Children's problems at school.
  • Legal problems.
Examples of positive personal stressors include:
  • Receiving a promotion or raise at work.
  • Starting a new job.
  • Marriage.
  • Buying a home.
  • Having a child.
  • Moving.
  • Taking a vacation.
  • Holiday seasons.
  • Retiring.
  • Taking educational classes or learning a new hobby.

Work and Internal Sources of Distress

Work and employment concerns such as those listed below are also frequent causes of distress:
  • Excessive job demands.
  • Job insecurity.
  • Conflicts with teammates and supervisors.
  • Inadequate authority necessary to carry out tasks.
  • Lack of training necessary to do the job.
  • Making presentations in front of colleagues or clients.
  • Unproductive and time-consuming meetings.
  • Commuting and travel schedules.
Stressors are not always limited to situations where some external situation is creating a problem. Internal events such as feelings and thoughts and habitual behaviors can also cause negative stress.
Common internally caused sources of distress include:
  • Fears: (e.g., fears of flying, heights, public speaking, chatting with strangers at a party).
  • Repetitive Thought Patterns.
  • Worrying about future events (e.g., waiting for medical test results or job restructuring).
  • Unrealistic, perfectionist expectations.
Habitual behavior patterns that can lead to distress include:
  • Overscheduling.
  • Failing to be assertive.
  • Procrastination and/or failing to plan ahead.

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Sadness and Unhappiness are not the same

 Sorrow makes us all children again.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said that, and he was right.
A good cry can be wonderful sometimes, and sadness
is nothing more than love announced.
Sadness and Unhappiness
are not the same thing, and it is good to remember that.

So if you're sad...be glad. It says something about you.
And there are worse things. And there is this:
sadness cleanses the heart.

Neale Donald Walsch

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Harmony


Harmony makes small things grow;lack of it makes great things decay.

Friday, January 10, 2020

Peace


Peace cannot come to this world until you are convinced
that violence will never produce it.

Hurt does not heal hurt. Violence will not bring an end
to violence. Help the world to understand this by
reacting differently, responding newly, when anger and
a need to hurt you is sent your way.

You will have such an opportunity in your life. And
probably, more than once. Do not miss the chance
to humbly send a message of love.

Neale

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Happiness

More about Thomas Merton you can read here!

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Your light is seen

...your heart is known, your soul
is cherished by more people than you might imagine.

If you knew how many others have been touched in
wonderful ways by you, you would be astonished. If
you knew how many people feel so much for you, you
would be shocked.

You are far more wonderful than you think you are.
Rest with that. Rest easy with that. Breathe again. You
are doing fine. More than fine. Better than fine. You're
doin' great.  So relax. And love yourself today.

Then take in God's love. Right now, take it in.
You deserve it.

Neale

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Stress


Stress is an alarm clock that lets you know you’re attached to something that’s not true for you.
 Byron Katie