Tuesday, August 12, 2014
"But" or "And"?
So when we use the word "but" we are actually *limiting* our opportunities to succeed and be happy in life.
"I love him, but hate it when he leaves the toilet seat up."
"I love my job, but I wish I had more money."
The examples can go on forever. Unconsciously, the word "but" creates a separation between the two things we're talking about. This separation, this split, ultimately causes us some psychological stress internally (often unconscious).
In the examples above, it can show up as a frustration with the man, the toilet seat, the job, the money... or even all of them! It can lead us to unconsciously self-sabotage our efforts at success and happiness. Maybe not in huge ways, but at least in little ways.
We may not not even understand why we feel frustrated or "slightly agitated." This is the nature of feeling separate from things. It causes disharmony. Un-peace. Discontent.
That's why whenever possible, I use the word "and" to bridge things. For example:
"I love him AND look forward to connecting with him in ways that he understands why placing the toilet seat down is important to me."
"I love my job AND am making empowering choices to create more financial abundance in my life."
You'll notice I didn't just change the word "but" to "and" either. Simply using the word "and" literally orients my brain towards POSSIBILITY. Towards OPPORTUNITY.
Everything that follows "and" in those sentences orients towards positive empowered thinking.
"But" is a word that, by its very nature, is limiting. "But" actually orients our brains towards scarcity, limitation, and even fear.
"And" by its very nature is expanding and inclusive.
From now on, whenever you find yourself about to use the word "but" pause for a moment and ask yourself a simple question:
"What other words express my sentiments more positively?"
Chances are, you'll be able to find an "and" in there somewhere."